Goodbye

Sr. Clara

Sr. Clara left the Holy Land after 9 years of service. She had suffered a bad back and a surgery. Climbing all the stairs equivalent top 5 storeys is just too much for her. So she retired yesterday and returned to India. 

Sr. Clara was one of the original sisters who came to start their community in Jerusalem. She served as superior, worked as sacristan and cook while helping the Konkani community in Jerusalem.

May God grant her good health and a happy new mission in India

Mum R.I.P.

Mum passed away on 8/8/25 just 2 weeks before her 91st birthday. She was cremated and interred in the parish columbarium on 15/8.

It has been and still is a rollercoaster of emotional and physical highs and lows. My operation wounds on the chest and thigh are more painful now than before the operation. I can barely sleep. An EKG showed that my left ventricle is hyper constricted. The cardiologist has decided to change 3 medicines to try and rectify the problem. Otherwise I continue to have breathing problems and difficulty in climbing stairs.

And the constant barrage of people asking the same questions is unbearable.

One step forward, two steps back

Missile alert
on cellphone

 Missile alarm again a couple of days back. It's frightening for some, others disregard it ....   we lost a Filipina Catholic caregiver in Rehovot when a missile hit the house she lived and  worked in. We had a Mass for her and the entire migrant community was there in spirit. Each one of us lived through the most intense period of the war, with death hovering at any moment. It could have been anyone of us.

I finally managed to have my 1st checkup with Dr. Amit, my bypass surgeon. It was difficult finding his office in Hadassah hospital, but I asked around and finally found it. Dr. Amit was pleased with my recovery though he insisted I go back to Clalit and have my swollen left leg especially the inflamed wounds where the veins were harvested, treated. It'll take another month before my sternum heals and the pain will continue for the next weeks.

Back home from the checkup, I fell while trying to sit on a chair. Hit my head and hurt my back and chest wounds. Just when I was on track on recovery, I took a few steps back. I was in bed for 2 days ... and the bump on my head is still there. More regression than progression in my recovery. Disaster.

"Home" again

Back at Cardiothoracic ward

Tomorrow I'm due for my first checkup with my surgeon in Hadassah Hospital. However they want a payment guarantee from my insurance company Clalit. Clalit is not giving it to me because one document from Hadassah is missing. Somehow when I was discharged, the hospital did not give it to me. I guess the chaos of the war that had started threw everyone off. 

I've been to Clalit many times these 2 weeks to see my cardiologist and family doctor as required by Hadassah. Today I went to Clalit to (again for the 3rd time) get my payment guarantee paper, to be told it won't be issued till Hadassah sends them the document. I decided to go personally to Hadassah to get it. I can't wait.

My nurse friends who cared 
for me after surgery

Walking down the corridor of Cardiothoracic ward was like coming home. I was there for a month and know every crook and cranny of the ward. Docs and nurses remembered me, calling my name, asking after my health, taking selfies, chatting. They searched the computers for my report but cannot find it. Irony of ironies - everyone in the ward remembers me but the computer doesn't. Like I didn't get my surgery done there at all. One of the docs decided to down to the main files and finally found it. The problem is each report made was made with my name transliterated into Hebrew. This resulted in 5 different versions of my name. Finally they discovered that the computer recognised only my name in English which no one thought of trying to search with.

Once the paper was printed, I rushed back to Clalit to give them the paper for the issuance of the hayvut (payment guarantee) only to be told I have to wait till afternoon or tomorrow morning. I'm utterly exhausted now running from east to south of the City. Transport was very expensive as the driver had to wait for me at both hospitals. And my body is barely coping with all this drama. Just found out in the document that I should be resting this week and not travelling out by car. 

Hope

A couple of days back we had again missile attacks in the night and early morning. It's not quite as over as you think. You hear one thing on the international news, we live another reality unlike news reports. You should read or watch the news with a pinch of salt.

Patriarch overseeing food
distribution

Our patriarch entered the war torn enclave 4 days ago after part of the church roof collapsed due to a bomb, killing 3 christians and injuring others including the parish priest. There's a growing propaganda in social media denying the church was ever bombed, that nobody died (or not mentioned at all) ... it's horrible purposeful misinformation to justify one's evil and vilify the victim. The pope's initial response was weak and disappointing. All he could say was "deeply saddened" by the deaths as if they were strangers, non-catholics, nameless faceless statistics. Compare the reaction and language of the local patriarchs, bishops and church leaders. Everyone was disheartened by a "spiritual father" who was cold and distant to the deaths of his own children. 4 days later - yesterday - he attempted to redress that by mentioning the dead by name and using more forceful language during the Angelus. Too little too late. The dead were buried 2 days earlier, the mourners have left, the cemetery is once again silent. Pope Francis would have reacted differently; Pope Leo XIII the great social reformer would have reacted differently.

Anyway the patriarch's visit of solidarity was very brave in the midst of the war. Despite the casualties, our christians swore to stay on. Some 500 christians shelter in our parish compound, and they provide food not just for themselves but also to the 500 muslim families who live around outside the compound. Everyone tries to share a bit of hope. It's the only thing left.

Heat

The summer solstice ws 3 weeks back. The days are now shorter and the nights are longer. The mosque call to prayer at the solstice was 2.30am (solar time). Now it's 3am. Though this points to the coming of autumn, it'll still take some time. One thing for sure, the heat will get worse. Yesterday was 35 degrees in the day. And it's only July. Nights are also around 27 degrees. The few who remain at home are having a difficult time sleeping in this heat.

Sweet peas and cosmos

My sweet peas are enjoying the heat though, as are the cosmos. They're flowering profusely. That's a happy event ... till Sr. Mary's cat came and dug the whole pot out. She's done that 4 times now and I'm determined to get rid of her.

I've figured that my insomnia occurs between 11pm to 3am. I've earned not to fight it. I try to do other things, listen to a talk or conference, or some music. Then I can go back to sleep from 4 - 5am. what is more bothersome is the pain in the upper chest. It makes getting in and out of bed very difficult. It's a daily struggle. The lost of appetite is also another problem. I'm forcing myself to eat but there're moments when I just go to sleep and pass up the meal. 

Yesterday I had the echocardiogram done in hospital. Now I have to wait for the results that'll come out next week. I still have to meet my surgeon - the meeting is postponed from 28 July to 11 August. And a second meeting with my cardiologist. Recovery is another one other two months. Pazienza.

Full moon

Another day feeling fatigue and in pain. I've checked again the list of post open-heart surgery indications as warned by the hospital ... and it's a textbook experience I'm going through. Moments when I feel alert, but mostly tired and cannot focus; nightly fevers, lots of pain especially when I cough or sneeze, insomnia, depression ... the list goes on. This is unknown territory for me, and it's very trying. Dr. Thaer who is my insurance family doctor, gave an example: it's like having a new car (= heart) but without fuel (blood) the new car can't run. So that's my problem - not enough blood. That's making me tired and unable to function. And it'll be another month or two to even see any recovery to normality. 

The full moon is out ... and I see it every night from my window as I lay awake from insomnia. It's beautiful. And despite the very hot weather (about 30-33 degrees everyday), my flowers are blooming well; especially the cosmos and sweet pea. Every morning I try to water them as part of my exercise for recovery.

Full moon over the Mt of Olives