"Home" again

Back at Cardiothoracic ward

Tomorrow I'm due for my first checkup with my surgeon in Hadassah Hospital. However they want a payment guarantee from my insurance company Clalit. Clalit is not giving it to me because one document from Hadassah is missing. Somehow when I was discharged, the hospital did not give it to me. I guess the chaos of the war that had started threw everyone off. 

I've been to Clalit many times these 2 weeks to see my cardiologist and family doctor as required by Hadassah. Today I went to Clalit to (again for the 3rd time) get my payment guarantee paper, to be told it won't be issued till Hadassah sends them the document. I decided to go personally to Hadassah to get it. I can't wait.

My nurse friends who cared 
for me after surgery

Walking down the corridor of Cardiothoracic ward was like coming home. I was there for a month and know every crook and cranny of the ward. Docs and nurses remembered me, calling my name, asking after my health, taking selfies, chatting. They searched the computers for my report but cannot find it. Irony of ironies - everyone in the ward remembers me but the computer doesn't. Like I didn't get my surgery done there at all. One of the docs decided to down to the main files and finally found it. The problem is each report made was made with my name transliterated into Hebrew. This resulted in 5 different versions of my name. Finally they discovered that the computer recognised only my name in English which no one thought of trying to search with.

Once the paper was printed, I rushed back to Clalit to give them the paper for the issuance of the hayvut (payment guarantee) only to be told I have to wait till afternoon or tomorrow morning. I'm utterly exhausted now running from east to south of the City. Transport was very expensive as the driver had to wait for me at both hospitals. And my body is barely coping with all this drama. Just found out in the document that I should be resting this week and not travelling out by car. 

Hope

A couple of days back we had again missile attacks in the night and early morning. It's not quite as over as you think. You hear one thing on the international news, we live another reality unlike news reports. You should read or watch the news with a pinch of salt.

Patriarch overseeing food
distribution

Our patriarch entered the war torn enclave 4 days ago after part of the church roof collapsed due to a bomb, killing 3 christians and injuring others including the parish priest. There's a growing propaganda in social media denying the church was ever bombed, that nobody died (or not mentioned at all) ... it's horrible purposeful misinformation to justify one's evil and vilify the victim. The pope's initial response was weak and disappointing. All he could say was "deeply saddened" by the deaths as if they were strangers, non-catholics, nameless faceless statistics. Compare the reaction and language of the local patriarchs, bishops and church leaders. Everyone was disheartened by a "spiritual father" who was cold and distant to the deaths of his own children. 4 days later - yesterday - he attempted to redress that by mentioning the dead by name and using more forceful language during the Angelus. Too little too late. The dead were buried 2 days earlier, the mourners have left, the cemetery is once again silent. Pope Francis would have reacted differently; Pope Leo XIII the great social reformer would have reacted differently.

Anyway the patriarch's visit of solidarity was very brave in the midst of the war. Despite the casualties, our christians swore to stay on. Some 500 christians shelter in our parish compound, and they provide food not just for themselves but also to the 500 muslim families who live around outside the compound. Everyone tries to share a bit of hope. It's the only thing left.

Heat

The summer solstice ws 3 weeks back. The days are now shorter and the nights are longer. The mosque call to prayer at the solstice was 2.30am (solar time). Now it's 3am. Though this points to the coming of autumn, it'll still take some time. One thing for sure, the heat will get worse. Yesterday was 35 degrees in the day. And it's only July. Nights are also around 27 degrees. The few who remain at home are having a difficult time sleeping in this heat.

Sweet peas and cosmos

My sweet peas are enjoying the heat though, as are the cosmos. They're flowering profusely. That's a happy event ... till Sr. Mary's cat came and dug the whole pot out. She's done that 4 times now and I'm determined to get rid of her.

I've figured that my insomnia occurs between 11pm to 3am. I've earned not to fight it. I try to do other things, listen to a talk or conference, or some music. Then I can go back to sleep from 4 - 5am. what is more bothersome is the pain in the upper chest. It makes getting in and out of bed very difficult. It's a daily struggle. The lost of appetite is also another problem. I'm forcing myself to eat but there're moments when I just go to sleep and pass up the meal. 

Yesterday I had the echocardiogram done in hospital. Now I have to wait for the results that'll come out next week. I still have to meet my surgeon - the meeting is postponed from 28 July to 11 August. And a second meeting with my cardiologist. Recovery is another one other two months. Pazienza.

Full moon

Another day feeling fatigue and in pain. I've checked again the list of post open-heart surgery indications as warned by the hospital ... and it's a textbook experience I'm going through. Moments when I feel alert, but mostly tired and cannot focus; nightly fevers, lots of pain especially when I cough or sneeze, insomnia, depression ... the list goes on. This is unknown territory for me, and it's very trying. Dr. Thaer who is my insurance family doctor, gave an example: it's like having a new car (= heart) but without fuel (blood) the new car can't run. So that's my problem - not enough blood. That's making me tired and unable to function. And it'll be another month or two to even see any recovery to normality. 

The full moon is out ... and I see it every night from my window as I lay awake from insomnia. It's beautiful. And despite the very hot weather (about 30-33 degrees everyday), my flowers are blooming well; especially the cosmos and sweet pea. Every morning I try to water them as part of my exercise for recovery.

Full moon over the Mt of Olives

Update

Our new cat

Missile alert continued yesterday morning at 5am. A few minutes later I could hear explosions in the sky as defensive missiles neutralised the invasion. Then it was over.

I'm still recovering from the operation, especially the anaemia ...  no surprise. My cardiologist whom I met 2 days back said to expect another month or so before any significant return to normality. My haemoglobin has gone up to 11 from 8.8. Improvement but still below the norm. So I'm still weak and listless. Most of my time is resting and sleeping ... which is very difficult because of the constant pain. I actually sleep no more than 3 hours a night. I can't walk far. My left foot is swollen again. And my left hand is partially paralysed. This makes showering, drying and changing clothes very difficult. It's a daily struggle. I can understand now how people with strokes have to live with half a body not functioning.

And I've been thinking of my time in hospital. All those people who have no families to accompany them while they underwent operations. How they struggle to even make a cup of coffee, to eat and do some simple acts like wearing shoes. I remember every Friday before the Sabbath began, pious jews would go room to room giving out small packs of cookies or popcorn, paid from their own pockets to spread joy to the hospital patients. And they gave even to non-Jews like me. They were little moments of compassion and kindness that go beyond religious or racial boundaries. I'm wondering if I can do the same when I get better.

Thanks

I just returned from my insurance clinic Clalit. It was consultation with my insurance GP who was instrumental in getting my emergency operation done. He was very happy to see me and get shaking my hands and telling me he's very happy the bypasses were done in time.

Lots of fluids drained
from my lungs

I'm still very anaemic and cannot function. Doc is worried and is considering putting me on an iron supplement program. I cannot function normally ... too weak to even walk a dozen steps. Thank God the war is over - though missile attacks continued the past 2 days - and I don't have to rush to hide in a protected area. I just don't have the energy to do it anymore. This anaemia is a result of the loss of blood and also the accumulation of fluids in my lungs a week after surgery. It had to be drained out ... a crisis that delayed my recovery. That accounts for my poor respiration even today.

I want to thank several people who selflessly came to help me during my hospitalisation and in the middle of a war. They had to walk a couple of kilometres, take the tram and come to the Judean hills where the hospital is situated. Quite far and risky during a war.

First to the Krembo gang - a group of Cameroonian and Senegalese priests who took turns to bring food and clothes to me, wash my laundry and see to all my needs back home, including my documentation and paper work with the hospital and insurance company. Also thanks to Filipino carers Josephine, Connie and Star whose expertise in caring for old people became very useful when I was totally helpless. And of course all of you who prayed for me and helped me finance my recovery. It was war time ... the hospital could not provide pyjamas and clothes regularly. I had to buy them whenever I had no clothes, and also some food; and offer to pay the transport for all those who were helping me. 

Health Update

"Souvenirs" from my operation

 It's almost a month now since my sudden admission to emergency ward and operation. It was unexpected as the operation was due for July. A casual visit to my insurance clinic to obtain a payment agreement for my interview with the heart surgeon in Hadassah suddenly became an emergency issue. My insurance doc checked me and said I was having a heart attack any moment. I was rushed to the emergency ward in Hadassah hospital where I was kept for 24 hours. Ten I was moved to the cardiology department for 3 days for monitoring - no operations were possible because it was the Jewish feast day. Then I was moved to the 12th floor cardiothoracic surgery department to prepare for the operation.

The preparation for the operation for open heart triple bypass was quick but very frightening. After 5 and a half hours of surgery I was sent to ICU. I only awoke 12 hours later. Within 2 days of my operation the war with Iran began and missiles were flying overhead. Nurses and docs moved us to a safe corridor from 2am till 6am. Then as more medical teams arrived, we were evacuated to the 3rd floor. Many who were deemed non-emergency were released to go home. This was to free up beds for war casualties. Only a handful of us remained in the ward. It was harrowing as missiles continued to explode around us every night. Almost every hour we had to go to the safe zone as alarms and sirens blared. As the war progressed, I was also released after a week to go home so another bed might be freed to war casualties. In all I spent 2 weeks in Hadassah.

I was moved to our monastery infirmary but within 2 days I was rushed back to Hadassah emergency because my blood level fell below the limit. I was very weak to the point of delirium. Hadassah gave me a unit of blood, though I needed two. Rationing for war casualties. So now my blood level is 8.2. Not optimal but that's as much as I can have. Now I focus on creating my own blood by eating more meat and liver. I'm still very weak and not able to walk far (also due to the scars where they took the veins for the bypass). Unable to focus and weak, I spend most of the time sleeping.