Full moon

Full moon again

Another good friend and former teacher died yesterday. Today the emeritus bishop of Singapore also died. This final month of 2024 is fatal ... in one week I can count at least 10 people I know who died. The Dragon is going out with violence and aggression.

I am still feeling very sick. I went to see the doc very early before the clinic was opened. There was already a line in queue. The doc arranged for me to see a neurologist but I have to wait till February 2025 for the appointment. The heart specialist has to be booked in another hospital. I don't think I'll live to see the doctors.

It's the full moon again. It's enormous and very bright. I had a good time photographing it as I came home from work last night. It's a reminder that the winter solstice is next week ... Dec 21, almost on Christmas Day. It marks the shortest day of the year and officially the 1st day of winter. The Jewish feast of Hanukkah starts on the evening of Christmas Dec 25, so the streets will be crowded with people. Not sure how much festivities are allowed as the war is still not officially over. 

Vigil Mass plan

5.30pm and dark and cold

Fighter jets are roaring overhead as I write this blog. The events in and around our country are causing a lot of unease and insecurity as everything is so unstable and there is no clear passage out of this violence. People try to live life as if it were normal. But everyone is tired of the war. Everyone. My jewish and arab friends tell me the same thing. Stop the war, we are tired. Shopkeepers, entrepreneurs, travel agencies, hotels ... all are calling for the war to stop. After Covid and now this ... how much more can we tolerate? 

We're properly into winter now. Even noon time is chilly. I'm well covered with 2 layers of hoodies. The long walk to and from work is pleasant in this weather ... but with my weakening heart, it becomes quite difficult. I've been busy meeting several families in need. They can't pay hospital bills and have asked for help. I do what I can. 

If all goes well, with no impediments from the war and my heath, I should go to Shepherds Field on Dec. 24 night to celebrate the Christmas Vigil Mass with a group of priests and nuns and lay people. I shall remember you all at Mass there in Bethlehem.

Weekend

5am ethiopic christians
praying at our church wall

The weekend has started. The sky is gray and cloudy. I had a tough night last night. Was feeling sick yesterday so I couldn't prepare my lessons for this morning. I have 7 MA level students in my class. I went to bed early. But I had to wake up at 1am to prepare the powerpoint slides. Managed to finish at 5am and then quickly rushed to my office 1km away in the cold dark streets. Luckily it's a Friday so many people were about at that time going to the mosque. Class lasted from 6am to 8am.

Skid warning sign

Still the sun rises late and sets very early at 4.30pm and I'm not quite used to it yet. My body clock is still summer. The temp hovers between 4 degrees to 11 degrees. Trees are dropping their leaves very quickly this week. That makes the pavements very slippery because the dew falls heavily in the mornings and the leaves prevent shoes from having a good grip. I have to hold on to railings while going uphill. Finally after so many years, the Municipality has put up a slippery slope warning sign on that famous stretch where many have fallen.

I'm still feeling weak and dizzy. I'm just not feeling well at all. Very uncomfortable feeling in the chest ... a dull pain. I'll go see the doctor on Sunday. Here the weekend, everything closes.

Blacked out

Had a black out last night. Woke up at 1am coughing and choking ... which is usual. Next thing I woke up, found myself on the floor, a bottle cap in my right hand, a bottle of water on the floor, water everywhere. I have no recollection if I had taken a bottle of water but there it was on the floor. It's one of those blackouts I frequently had before my heart surgery. I'm afraid it's a telltale sign of a coming heart attack.

People are telling me I'm overworking. Maybe I am. But I feel my life is ending soon. And I want to do whatever I can before I die. Leave a footprint before I disappear from this earth and from people's memories.

I guess I should go see my doctor. I will. But not today. I must prepare for class.

Sunrise ... to see it again is to be alive for another day

Sad news

It's been a very sad week. Two dear friends died within 24 hours. One was a colleague from 20 years back when I was director of the Media Center. She was one of the pioneer vocations to found the Cancao Nova congregation in Brazil; a group consecrated to Catholic media service inspired by former salesian priest Fr Habib. She fought and survived cancer 8 years ago but now succumbed as it spread to her lungs. The other was co-founder of our music school Magnificat 30 years ago. She had been fighting illness for the past years as well. I know her husband and son well. Her husband's brother is the parish priest here. The Christians here in the parish are deeply saddened and shocked by losing 2 members in one day. I had just returned home from the funeral of one when I received news that the other had died in Brazil. 

And a day before that, Fr Leonides who worked here a couple of years ago as chaplain to the filipino community also suddenly died. It was totally unexpected.

Sr Elizabeth

All this has got me thinking again about my own death. Life is so fragile. You never know when it can end. Just need to appreciate each moment; make the most of each day as it may be my last. 

On a brighter note, Sr Elizabeth a filipina MC sister celebrated her silver jubilee yesterday. I presided a private Mass at the Holy Sepulchre with only the MC sisters attending. It was encouraging that some sisters from war ravished Nablus came as well. It's not safe to be outdoors there. I hope they reached home safely ... it's a 2 hour bus ride with at least one change of bus lines at Ramallah.

3 deaths and 1 celebration of life. The mystery of life.

Wintry Advent

Palm Square and mounted
police

It's the weekend again ... and in 3 weeks 2024 will be over. Another year gone. Everyone I spoke to says time is flying so fast. The new moon is just up and it's the last new moon before a new year begins. Jupiter and Venus are shining extra bright these nights ... astronomers say it's aligning so its brightness is more accentuated. At least that's what I thing they said.

It's quite chilly now ... every night is 4 - 6 degrees. Maybe it'll rain later. Better still ... maybe it'll snow. We haven't had a snow storm since 2021. It'll be fun to have another one.

Our school bombed

Our school and chapel in Aleppo was bombed by missiles several days ago. Luckily no one was hurt. It's frightening how fast the violence had spread in just a few days. We were hoping Christmas would be a quiet time with our Christians celebrating in relative peace. Instead it's war all over again. We can only pray and hope things will get better.

Yesterday all the chaplains of the migrant communities had a retreat led by the auxiliary bishop. He spoke about the Jubilee Year and what it means and what we can do for our migrant communities next year to celebrate it. Ideally it should work. In reality many of our migrants are spread from the north to the south of the country. The only day off is the Sabbath which means no public transport so they can't come for Mass or any other celebration. And those who can come must pay a lot for special transport to get them to where there is Mass. Others are simply too poor to afford special transport. Or they live so far it takes 3 hours to come and 3 hours to go back. Logistically it's not possible.

Stromata

Cold, wet and slippery

The weather is cold but no rain so far. There's heavy dew in the mornings. And it's necessary to wear a moderately thick coat outdoors. A flu-like virus is going around ... some people say it's a mutated form of covid. But I'm not so sure. I've had it for 2 months now. More people I know are getting it. Lots of coughing and heavy phlegm ... so thick it chokes you. 

And one mystery solved : my lost of memory is probably due to the 3 types of statins that I'm taking. 3 different types for morning, noon and night. It's destroying my brains and liver. My memory lost, fatigue and difficulty in breathing  can all be traced to the over-dosage of these statins plus other medications. I stopped taking Nexium and I'll go see the doctor if I can reduce the rest. I'll probably die from these side-effects rather than a heart attack.

I was blocked from logging into my blogs for several days. And I'm not even going to question why. Mystery not solved.

Sr. Thankamani's birthday

Last weekend we celebrated Sr. Thankamani's birthday. She's 2 years older than I, a registered nurse who now serves in our monastery in the chapels and kitchen. She works hard for her age. Sr. Clara on the other hand has returned to India for a spinal operation. It's due tomorrow so she wrote to ask me for prayers. If not for these hardworking nuns, who often are unacknowledged, our daily routine would not be possible. They provide the background help so we can have food and celebrate Mass without worries. Nowadays nuns don't want to do domestic work ... and rightly so. There are many lay people who need jobs and more suited to do domestic housework.