Advent

Mr. Cat enjoying the sun

 It's already the 1st Sunday of Advent. Time flies. Another season which is still not very festive. People are still struggling to make a living. Bills, rent, school fees ... all these burden the family when there's no work or salary.

True, tourists are returning. Much more than before. But they're more tight-fisted than before, unwilling to spend or donate. Our christians rely on tourists to make a living. They offer food and beverage services as well as selling souvenirs. Now there're so many requests for aid that I've exhausted all my reserves. I've been discussing with our finance dept what to do to help families buy food during the Christmas season. we usually offer food coupons to some 30 families but this year it'll be greatly reduced or even cancelled.

The weather continues as winter should. Chilly nights and cool daytimes. The sun is less harsh. Even our cat enjoys lying out on the terrace soaking up the sun. The seedlings I sowed 2 weeks ago are all sprouting. If a heavy shower or snow hits us, they'll all die because they're very small and fragile. we'll see what happens in the coming weeks. And of course if Mr. Cat doesn't dig them all out. He's very naughty and has destroyed one pot of plants already. I've now planted a pot of catmint and that has attracted his total attention, eating the leaves, rubbing himself on the branches. I hope the catmint will distract him long enough to allow my seedlings to grow.

Clear skies

Clear skies again

 It's back to sunny afternoons; the storm ended yesterday. There was a harsh hailstorm yesterday morning ... from small ice rocks to pingpong size hail fell throughout the country. Cities were flooded, the deserts turned to rivers. Many basement apartments were underwater. Luckily the week is forecast to be sunny and dry. Now we wait for another hailstorm ... it was fun for all of us. We've not had such a storm for a long while. 

The air is clean, and so are the streets after the storm. Walking outside in the sun is pleasant. A chilly breeze is constantly blowing. Everyone says it feels good the old feeling of winter is back.

I'm struggling to adapt myself to my heart problem. Breathing and walking has become more difficult. Even sleeping is a trial and error . One wrong position lying on my left, adds pressure on my heart. There'll be a sharp pain below my clavicle and I start choking. 

Thunderstorm

Red sky in the morning

 There's a thunderstorm right now. Lots of thunder, lightening and rain. It feels wonderful. Rain again after 2 years of drought. Apparently the pattern this winter is: rain in the middle of thwack for 2 days with cold weather, and the rest of the week warm / hot and sunny. Int happened like this last week, and again today. Whatever it is, we just want rain. Agricultural fields need this deep soaking to revive and be productive.

Yesterday's sky prophesied the coming rain ... in typical biblical style. It was red and Mt 16:3 Jesus said if the sky is red in the morning, it will be storming and rainy. It's part of human wisdom in all cultures, and it holds true even today. 

I'm easily fatigued now and most of my activities are restricted. It's difficult to focus, to do anything for a period of time as I feel tired and need to lie down. What a huge change in 6 months. My advice to you all is: take good care of your health. Once it's gone, nothing in this world can ever get it back again. Like the lightening, you see it flash and then it's gone forever.

Visitors

 Yesterday was the feast of Christ the King. The last Sunday of the liturgical year. And so the year ends. It's been a horrid year. I can't even talk about it. Everything lost. No words.

Fighter jets again roared above us this morning as it did for the past 2 days. The south was bombed again with casualties. No words.

Sr. AnneMarie and Sr. Rita

I had a few visitors last week. People from distant countries .. or in one case, cloistered Carmelites nuns who left the cloister to see me. I usually don't welcome visitors because it causes me more problems ... it's very difficulty to find your way up to my floor where I live. And with no elevators, the climb up 5 storeys is difficult even for a fit person. And once these people are lost, obliged to go down and look for them and bring them up. Which I can't do as I simple can't climb stairs.  

But anyway these visitors made extraordinary efforts to come so I had to ask the help of workers to bring them up. Srs AnneMarie and Rita are old friends going back 30 years. They were worried about my condition and came to see me.

Well I got my echocardiograph results today. I have a prolapsed valve that's causing my choking every time I lie down. My fatigue and dizziness are also caused by the prolapsed valve, which causes blood in my heart to flow backwards instead of forwards. This problem and my anaemia are weakening me very much.

Winter

Crisp sunrise

It feels like winter at last. Nights are chilly and daytime is a cool comfortable 26 degrees. The rain last week has cleansed the air and soaked the dry earth. Seedlings in cracks and along the roadsides are sprouting. It'll be wild mustard, wild barley and lots of dandelion. 

Sunrise in early winter is always spectacular. The air is crisp and clear, reflecting the rays on the clouds, creating fantastic art in the sky.

I went to the dentist to deal with my two cracked molars. Unfortunately he cannot extract them because it's not 6 months from my heart surgery yet. He reminded me that it was a very major operation and he cannot make any invasive  interventions until the time limit is passed and the cardiologist issues a written instruction that I can undergo tooth extraction. So in the meantime, he patched one to stop the pain from the exposed root. The other is beyond superficial repair. I;ll have to wait to January 2026 for the extraction.

My anaemia is not getting better. I did my blood test last week. Now I'm always dizzy and fatigued. My phone issues warnings that my walking is unstable and it predicts I'll fall on the coming days. So I stayed in my room for the past days. I don't have the energy to do anything and the brain is a constant fog.

100 days

Dad & Mum niche

The storm lasted till last night ... a good 36 hours. Reports of damage and chaos in many parts of the country. It's still drizzling though, and the sky is overcast.

Today is the 100th day mum died. Mass was celebrated in the parish with all the family attending. I miss her very much. I can't call her every day and ask what she's eating, if it's raining or did she go to church. It's that 20 minutes every day I used to call her that now is empty with nothing to do ... just memories. The house will be sold; and all my childhood and teenage memories living there will also be gone. It might have been easier if I were younger ... but I'm old and sick. Changes, especially uprooting, is very painful. 

The storm continues to brew, deep inside.

Rain

Rainbow yesterday

Finally the winter rains came. Yesterday the sky was overcast and temps began to drop. It started to drizzle and towards evening it actually broke into a heavy shower. That lasted only for a few minutes but it was enough to soak the dry earth and hot stones of buildings. The smell of the wet stones was very satisfying and brought back memories of past winters decades ago when it used to rain regularly. We have not had rain for the past 2 years and it was a smell we missed.

Yesterday morning during the drizzle, a full rainbow from north to south, It's been a very long while that we've seen a rainbow. Perhaps its a premonition of good things to come.

Today temps fell to 12 degrees. It's chilly. And the wind is very strong. I see from the local news the amount of flooding and wind damage in many cities. Lightening even struck and burned a tree and destroy electric wires. It's been quite a storm and many places were not prepared for it ... given the years of drought we've had. Drains have been blocked by sand thus causing massive flooding nationwide.

The shower and winds are sporadic today. And students still go to school, though many are playing outside the classrooms in the rain. The younger ones would not have experienced rain like this. Hopefully this will not be the last time. We need rain.