Do not stand at my grave and weep
by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1904-2004).
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Regis
Regis has kydney failure and partial liver damage. Now has regressed to post-hepatic jaundice. He was perfectly alright until 2 weeks ago when he had a blood test at a vet. clinic. Then he couldn't walk on the leg that had blood drawn. He was brought back to the vet. clinic and the same doctor said Regis has arthritis on that leg. From then on Regis stopped eating, turned yellow and cannot pee. Regis is now in a coma.
Monday, April 28, 2008
brick or stone?
The Orthodox Easter passed without incident yesterday in the Holy Sepulchre. The streets are packed with Orthodox pilgrims expecially from Russia - they can come to Israel without visas now. Also the Jewish Passover came to an end yesterday. So festivities everywhere. The bells of the Holy Sepulchre are ringing throughout the day.
Today I'm trying to get more texts analysed. Not easy as I get lost in the maze of grammatical jargon. Am also feeling unwell - most of my fingers are swollen at the joints and hurt alot - like arthritis but don't know where that came from. I usually get this after a course of oral steroids for my asthma but I never took them at all. Maybe its a side-effect of the blood pressure pills. Well it's hurting very much and I can't sleep last night because of the pain. Wrapped them in medicated plaster but no difference. Then this morning I had several bouts of diarrhea - hope I didn't catch the virus from the rest of the guys. The people working in the library have caught it. Everything happening at once. I'll go see a Dr. John Ben-Daniel who's just opened shop at our French Hospital near the New Gate. Consultation fee is about US$70 + VAT but that's cheaper than travelling to Nazareth 200 kms away for my checkup and wasting the whole day travelling. Maybe he can change my medication as it's causing spasms in my bronchus and I can't breathe and choke. It's a terrible side-effect many people told me will happen and I have to change my medication immdeiately. We'll see.
Regis is very sick. Hasn't eaten for 3 days now and they have resorted to force-feeding him by syringe but he throws everything up. He doesn't have the will to live anymore.
Today's 1st reading recalls Paul first entering Philippi, his first journey into Europe. There he gathered outside the city by a river "which was a traditional place of prayer". Those of you who came with me to Greece will remember that spot by the river. But it seems strange that the Jews didn't have a synagogue to gather and pray in Philippi. Anyway it made me think about this morning's video-conferencing class about the Church. The Church is not a building but a living presence of those who believe in Jesus as Lord. But just before you get too self-confident that you are a living brick of the Church - check yourself to see if you're worthy. There're some presumptious people who think they're way above the rest of us and make judgemental statements like "God wants you priests/nuns to do this and that". And I read just that in a final letter by a retiring Indian Archbishop to his diocese, when laity make unreasonable demands and uncharitable remarks and the pain it caused him. There was no unity in faith - only a demand for service. So, we are Church and we can gather in faith to worship and witness to the things God has done for us. But it is always good to check oneself and see if we are living bricks or stumbling stones.
Today I'm trying to get more texts analysed. Not easy as I get lost in the maze of grammatical jargon. Am also feeling unwell - most of my fingers are swollen at the joints and hurt alot - like arthritis but don't know where that came from. I usually get this after a course of oral steroids for my asthma but I never took them at all. Maybe its a side-effect of the blood pressure pills. Well it's hurting very much and I can't sleep last night because of the pain. Wrapped them in medicated plaster but no difference. Then this morning I had several bouts of diarrhea - hope I didn't catch the virus from the rest of the guys. The people working in the library have caught it. Everything happening at once. I'll go see a Dr. John Ben-Daniel who's just opened shop at our French Hospital near the New Gate. Consultation fee is about US$70 + VAT but that's cheaper than travelling to Nazareth 200 kms away for my checkup and wasting the whole day travelling. Maybe he can change my medication as it's causing spasms in my bronchus and I can't breathe and choke. It's a terrible side-effect many people told me will happen and I have to change my medication immdeiately. We'll see.
Regis is very sick. Hasn't eaten for 3 days now and they have resorted to force-feeding him by syringe but he throws everything up. He doesn't have the will to live anymore.
Today's 1st reading recalls Paul first entering Philippi, his first journey into Europe. There he gathered outside the city by a river "which was a traditional place of prayer". Those of you who came with me to Greece will remember that spot by the river. But it seems strange that the Jews didn't have a synagogue to gather and pray in Philippi. Anyway it made me think about this morning's video-conferencing class about the Church. The Church is not a building but a living presence of those who believe in Jesus as Lord. But just before you get too self-confident that you are a living brick of the Church - check yourself to see if you're worthy. There're some presumptious people who think they're way above the rest of us and make judgemental statements like "God wants you priests/nuns to do this and that". And I read just that in a final letter by a retiring Indian Archbishop to his diocese, when laity make unreasonable demands and uncharitable remarks and the pain it caused him. There was no unity in faith - only a demand for service. So, we are Church and we can gather in faith to worship and witness to the things God has done for us. But it is always good to check oneself and see if we are living bricks or stumbling stones.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
travel light!
6th Sunday of Easter and leading to the Feast of the Ascension. Decided to stay home to avoid the Orthodox Easter crowd as well as the last day of the Jewish Passover crowd going to the Wailing Wall. Decided to clean my room slowly - whole morning actually and got even to mop the floor: I usually vacuum it only.
Last night some of the guys went to participate at the Ethiopic Easter Vigil which is very colourful. Didn't ask if they enjoyed it.
Anyway it's a pretty uneventful day and I just did abit of analysis of my text. Slow day. Just a thought to leave with you guys. The Ascension is not an appendix to the Easter story. No! It is an essential part of the Paschal Mystery (suffering, death and resurrection). Luke in his Gospel (9:51) says Jesus was set on going to Jerusalem not to suffer and die, but "to be taken up" ie the Ascension. And of course John's gospel speaks constantly of Jesus' need to go back to the Father. So let's prepare for Ascension Day - when we remind ourselves that that is our final destination of our lives. So prepare for the journey and travel light!
Last night some of the guys went to participate at the Ethiopic Easter Vigil which is very colourful. Didn't ask if they enjoyed it.
Anyway it's a pretty uneventful day and I just did abit of analysis of my text. Slow day. Just a thought to leave with you guys. The Ascension is not an appendix to the Easter story. No! It is an essential part of the Paschal Mystery (suffering, death and resurrection). Luke in his Gospel (9:51) says Jesus was set on going to Jerusalem not to suffer and die, but "to be taken up" ie the Ascension. And of course John's gospel speaks constantly of Jesus' need to go back to the Father. So let's prepare for Ascension Day - when we remind ourselves that that is our final destination of our lives. So prepare for the journey and travel light!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
A nice day
Today is Study Day. That means we invite some experts to come and talk about a special topic and then we have workshops discussing certain quesitons. This year is big - we teamed up with the Salesian Theological School and got some heavy weights to share on the topic of the Bible in the Church's life and mission - the topic that the world's bishops will be discussing with the pope this October. I decided to go early as I walk slowly. Left at 7.30am for St Saviour's Monastery.
But what chaos! I forgot (we forgot) it is the Orthodox Holy Saturday and the Jewish Passover. All the streets in the Old City were closed from the 7th station of the cross onwards. I quickly called our dean on my mobile to warn all the speakers, bishops etc... to avoid entering the Old City except directly through New Gate that leads to St Saviour's. Good thing I did that otherwise the conferences would have been delayed for a long time.
Well as for me I wasn't going to walk all the way back to Damascus Gate and make a big detour, so wrangled my way through hundreds of Orthodox pilgrims. Luckily my modern Greek came in handy and I could argue and shout my way through to the barriers where the police were. The police were willing to let me through but were afraid if they opened a gap in the barriers, the Orthodox will rush through, so I had to climb. There were 4 barriers that I had to climb and jump - one at the 7th Station, another at the 8th Station, next at the Greek Patriarchate and finally one at our Casa Nova. Well I fell at the 2nd barrier because my cord was tangled in the metal barriers, and the greeks kept pushing me forward. Fell with my cord still caught on the barriers - thank goodness it wasn't around my neck as I would have hung myself dead. ANyway landed with a swollen left ankle again - yes the same one.
Managed to reach St Saviour's barely in one piece. The conference started late - undeerstandbly as I heard they even closed off New Gate. We had to send two friars to the soldiers at the gate to identify our participants so they can enter the Old City! But the conference did start and it was pretty good. It dealt with topics that I genuinely was interested, eg the documents of the church on the Bible and the impact of Vatican II (that's the 2nd Vatican Council 1963-1965). Bishop Bettazzi was excellent in his humour - I laughed alot!
When it was time for lunch I told the dean I wasn't going to walk all the way back to Flagellation Monastery, through the crowds, with my swollen ankle. So he suggested I stay at St Saviour's to eat instead - which was nice since I haven't eaten there for like 10 years. The refectory is huge - about 100 friars and guests were there for lunch today. I ate little as I was chatting with the semianrians sitting around me.
After lunch I went to William's room where he showed me photos of Lebanon (very nice place) and his family. It was very nice. At 2.30pm we went back downstairs to continue the conference. I didn't stay for the workshop at 5pm but went home with other guys from the Flagellation. Took the long narrow side roads to get home to avoid the barriers. I thought it was really a nice day and I learnt alot. When we reached our courtyard of the Flagellation I had a nice surprise: Edna Almoog a Jewish guide whom I know well was leading an Italian group. We chatted up and it happened that the Italians in the group came from the same places as Frs Matteo and Massimo (the 2 italian friars who walked home with me) so everyone started chatting. It was a happy ending of a very nice day.
But what chaos! I forgot (we forgot) it is the Orthodox Holy Saturday and the Jewish Passover. All the streets in the Old City were closed from the 7th station of the cross onwards. I quickly called our dean on my mobile to warn all the speakers, bishops etc... to avoid entering the Old City except directly through New Gate that leads to St Saviour's. Good thing I did that otherwise the conferences would have been delayed for a long time.
Well as for me I wasn't going to walk all the way back to Damascus Gate and make a big detour, so wrangled my way through hundreds of Orthodox pilgrims. Luckily my modern Greek came in handy and I could argue and shout my way through to the barriers where the police were. The police were willing to let me through but were afraid if they opened a gap in the barriers, the Orthodox will rush through, so I had to climb. There were 4 barriers that I had to climb and jump - one at the 7th Station, another at the 8th Station, next at the Greek Patriarchate and finally one at our Casa Nova. Well I fell at the 2nd barrier because my cord was tangled in the metal barriers, and the greeks kept pushing me forward. Fell with my cord still caught on the barriers - thank goodness it wasn't around my neck as I would have hung myself dead. ANyway landed with a swollen left ankle again - yes the same one.
Managed to reach St Saviour's barely in one piece. The conference started late - undeerstandbly as I heard they even closed off New Gate. We had to send two friars to the soldiers at the gate to identify our participants so they can enter the Old City! But the conference did start and it was pretty good. It dealt with topics that I genuinely was interested, eg the documents of the church on the Bible and the impact of Vatican II (that's the 2nd Vatican Council 1963-1965). Bishop Bettazzi was excellent in his humour - I laughed alot!
When it was time for lunch I told the dean I wasn't going to walk all the way back to Flagellation Monastery, through the crowds, with my swollen ankle. So he suggested I stay at St Saviour's to eat instead - which was nice since I haven't eaten there for like 10 years. The refectory is huge - about 100 friars and guests were there for lunch today. I ate little as I was chatting with the semianrians sitting around me.
After lunch I went to William's room where he showed me photos of Lebanon (very nice place) and his family. It was very nice. At 2.30pm we went back downstairs to continue the conference. I didn't stay for the workshop at 5pm but went home with other guys from the Flagellation. Took the long narrow side roads to get home to avoid the barriers. I thought it was really a nice day and I learnt alot. When we reached our courtyard of the Flagellation I had a nice surprise: Edna Almoog a Jewish guide whom I know well was leading an Italian group. We chatted up and it happened that the Italians in the group came from the same places as Frs Matteo and Massimo (the 2 italian friars who walked home with me) so everyone started chatting. It was a happy ending of a very nice day.
Friday, April 25, 2008
St Mark's feast
More casualties to the virus. The strange thing is no one in the house wants to go see the doctor. Everyone is just using his own medication and sharing it around - pretty dangerous I'd say. I still stay clear from kitchen food and have not caught the bug yet.
My BP is now around 120 / 70 and because its a little low, it's making me listless. Also because I've cut back on all foods except white rice or plain pasta. It's a bit extreme this diet but at least it's stabilising my BP for the moment. Yesterday I was tempted to taste a bit of cheese - it tasted sooooooo good. Mustn't get into the habit of making exceptions otherwise I'll have to face the consequences.
And yesterday almost everyone fit enough from the virus went to Emmaus for a day of on-going formation. I didn't go. Did some work instead. Also fell asleep twice at the table in front of my computer. Oh my, getting tired is so frequent now I just don't know when I fall asleep anymore. It's pretty dangerous - and I actually fell asleep at yesterday's video-conferencing to HK. I don't think anyone noticed though as they were reading the Bible text.
And it is hot - 35 degrees or more for the past two days. One canary died - she bore the first fledgling which we released into the large cage a few days back. She immediately laid another egg but I found her dead in the nest this morning. Too tired I guess.
Today is the feast of St Mark the evangelist and founder of the Coptic (Egyptian Church). Mass was a little longer than usual. The readings reminded us of the mission of St Mark - someone who played a background role accompanying Paul and Peter. And our main celebrant for Mass Fr Roberto (a conventual franciscan) told us that Mark is one role model we can learn - to be background players. So if you can't be a main player, choose background - it's no less important.
My BP is now around 120 / 70 and because its a little low, it's making me listless. Also because I've cut back on all foods except white rice or plain pasta. It's a bit extreme this diet but at least it's stabilising my BP for the moment. Yesterday I was tempted to taste a bit of cheese - it tasted sooooooo good. Mustn't get into the habit of making exceptions otherwise I'll have to face the consequences.
And yesterday almost everyone fit enough from the virus went to Emmaus for a day of on-going formation. I didn't go. Did some work instead. Also fell asleep twice at the table in front of my computer. Oh my, getting tired is so frequent now I just don't know when I fall asleep anymore. It's pretty dangerous - and I actually fell asleep at yesterday's video-conferencing to HK. I don't think anyone noticed though as they were reading the Bible text.
And it is hot - 35 degrees or more for the past two days. One canary died - she bore the first fledgling which we released into the large cage a few days back. She immediately laid another egg but I found her dead in the nest this morning. Too tired I guess.
Today is the feast of St Mark the evangelist and founder of the Coptic (Egyptian Church). Mass was a little longer than usual. The readings reminded us of the mission of St Mark - someone who played a background role accompanying Paul and Peter. And our main celebrant for Mass Fr Roberto (a conventual franciscan) told us that Mark is one role model we can learn - to be background players. So if you can't be a main player, choose background - it's no less important.
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